positively present

100 things i am thankful for

 (♥)

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. 
If you concentrate on what you don't have, 
you will never, ever have enough."

Oprah Winfrey

 

This week I've been writing a great deal about gratitude and it's no surprise that this has inspired me to think about all of the things I am thankful for. Every once and awhile I pull out my happy list (click the link to read more about it) and I add things to it. Yesterday, as I was thinking about gratitude, I realized that this list is somewhat like a gratitude journal, in that I'm really both happy and grateful for all of these things in my life. (See Wednesday's post to read more about the connection between happiness and gratitude.) All of the things that make me so happy are things that I'm also grateful for. Yesterday I added a bunch of new things, bringing the list up to 600! As tempting as it is to share all of those with you, I'll sum it up with my top 100...

100 Things I Am Thankful For

1. Life. How cool is that I'm actually here, in this world, living?
   
   
2. Friends. There is no way I could survive without them. Love you guys!
   
   
3. Family. We have our ups and downs, but they really are my foundation.
   
   
4. Love. It's completely magical and amazing, isn't it?
   
   
5. Words. They are literally my life line. I would not be me without them.
   
   
6. Choice. I love that every day I can choose to be happy. Fabulous!
   
   
7. Music. It's one of those things I literally cannot live without.
   
   
8. Color. As you can probably tell from my site, I'm obsessed with it!
   
   
9. Magic. Just read a quote saying magic is in everything. So true!
   
   
10. Art. To quote Ani Difranco, "Art is why I get up in the morning."
    
    
11. Dogs. They are flat out amazing creatures. Love you, Bella! Miss you, Pooky!
    
    
12. Health. I'm a pretty healthy girl and I'm so, so, SO happy about that.
    
    
13. Seasons. Spring, summer, winter, fall -- love 'em all!
    
    
14. Stars. As The Killers sing: "Stars are like rebel diamonds cut out of the sun." How beautiful!
    
    
15. Acceptance. I'm so thankful to those who accept me for who I am.
    
    
16. Rainbows. I've seen more of them this year than in my entire life combined. Amazing!
    
    
17. Blogs. I love writing mine and I love all the blogs I read on a regular basis.
    
    
18. Laughter. There is little better in the world than the laugh-so-hard-you-cry feeling.
    
    
19. Holidays. There's something incredibly exciting about them (especially Halloween!!!!).
    
    
20. Sunshine. I don't see too much of it today, but I love, love, love when the sun's shining.
    
    
21. Books. There's never a time when I'm not thankful for the words of another.
    
    
22. Organization. It might seem boring to some, but I'm really glad I'm organized.
    
    
23. Generosity. One of those things that's just as great to give as it is to get.
    
    
24. Encouragement. So many people have supported me in my life and I'm so lucky to have them.
    
    
25. Accountability. I'm so glad I've finally realized that I'm accountable for myself and my life.
    
    
26. Smiles. I love giving them and getting them. As Buddy the Elf says, "Smiling's my favorite!"
    
    
27. Change. It scares the shit out of me sometimes, but it can be a wonderful thing.
    
    
28. Fun. Who doesn't love a little bit (or a lot!) of fun in their lives?
    
    
29. Housing. This is something I usually take for granted, but I heart my apartment!
    
    
30. Comfort. Comfort food, comfy sweatpants, a comfortable relationship...comfort rocks!
    
    
31. Hope. Sometimes it's hard to find, but it's always there, waiting to lift me up.
    
    
32. Handwriting. It's so cool how we're all so different and this is a great place to see that.
    
    
33. Glitter. C'mon now, you know glitter is just about the awesomest thing ever.
    
    
34. Patience. I don't have very much of it yet, but I'm getting better at it every day!  
    
    
35. Photographs. There is nothing quite like a brilliant image to capture a moment.
    
    
36. Wonderlands. I particularly love Alice in Wonderland, but a winter wonderland is pretty great too.
    
    
37. Honesty. It really is the best policy.
    
    
38. Surprises. As long as they're good, I lovvvvvve them.
    
    
39. August. Best month ever, hands down.
    
    
40. Paw prints. I can't help but smile every time I see them.
    
    
41. Passion. One of the best things: seeing someone passionate about what they do or who they love.
    
    
42. Palm trees. If only they had them on the east coast... I'll be back, Cali!
    
    
43. Dreams. Both the daytime or nighttime variety are pretty cool.
    
    
44. Films. A movie that leaves you feeling moved -- priceless!
    
    
45. Positivity. Look for the good in everything and you will find it.
    
    
46. Knowledge. Gaining and possessing knowledge is one of my favorite things. Ever.
    
    
47. Quality Time. When you get to spend really quality time with someone, it's sooo fantastic.
    
    
48. Animals. How alike and different we are from them! Fascinating!
    
    
49. Kindness. Even the smallest act or word can change a day around...
    
    
50. Sleep. There's nothing like a soft pillow and a warm blanket after a long, hard day.
    
    
51. Dancing. I can't say I'm very good at it, but I love to do it!
    
    
52. Safe Landings. Gotta love those after a turbulence-filled flight!
    
    
53. Food. It's a major part of life, but I often forget to be thankful for it.
    
    
54. Challenges. They may suck at the time, but they always make me a better person.  
    
    
55. Imagination. I don't know where (or who!) I would be without it...
    
    
56. Compliments. Yeah, you know you're thankful for 'em too.
    
    
57. Twitter. It's awesome connecting with people on there and a great resource for new info.
    
    
58. Growing Up. Man, it was tough being in high school... and college... and right-out-of-college...
    
    
59. Freedom. Another thing I often take for granted, but am SO lucky to have.
    
    
60. Plans. I love knowing that fun things are coming up. Putting plans in place is great!
    
    
61. Therapy. Seriously, it has changed my life in so many amazing ways.
    
    
62. Driving. The car, the road, the music... awesome.  
    
    
63. Inspiration. There's nothing quite like coming across something that inspires you.
    
    
64. Peace. I'm not always at peace with myself and the world, but I'm working on it.
    
    
65. Productivity. It feels so great to be getting stuff done.
    
    
66. Emotions. Sometimes it's scary to feel things deeply, but it's also very wonderful.
    
    
67. Creativity. It's such a great feeling to make something and know it came from your heart. 
    
    
68. Good News. We all know there's a lot of bad news out there, so it's great to hear the good stuff.
    
    
69. Clothes. Even though I'm a grown-up, I still love playing dress up. Heart you, Chanel & Marc Jacobs!
    
    
70. Apologies. It feels great to hear them and even better to say them.
    
    
71. Forgiveness. This is also pretty great if you're in the wrong...
    
    
72. Weekends. Ahh, to be work-free for a few days. Love it!
    
    
73. Magazines: Nylon, Bitch, Bust, Real Simple, InStyle... I heart you.
    
    
74. Now. It's awesome to live in the moment. The only time we have is NOW!
    
    
75. Respect. One of the best things we can do is respect others -- and ourselves.
    
    
76. Bathing Suits. Considering I have about 32 of them, I'd say I'm pretty grateful for 'em (and summer days!)
    
    
77. Joy. It's something that is all around us -- we just have to look for it.
    
    
78. New Places. They can be scary sometimes, but the excitement is part of the fun!
    
    
79. Kisses. There are all sorts of kisses, but all of them are so awesome. 
    
    
80. Memories. I don't like to dwell too much on the past, but it's awesome to look back sometimes.
    
    
81. Excitement. I've had a fair amount of it in my life lately and I love it!
    
    
82. Coziness. It feels so good to cuddle up and be cozy with a great book (or person!).
    
    
83. Thoughts. I have a lot of them (a lot, a lot!) and I'm thankful for every single one.
    
    
84. Internet. Oh, what in the world would I do without you, World Wide Web??
    
    
85. Compassion. It feels wonderful to be compassionate to others.
    
    
86. Journals. All of those blank, beautiful pages!! I cannot get enough of them!
    
    
87. Opinions. I love sharing mine and hearing others' as well.
    
    
88. Water. Another one of those things I tend to take for granted, but it's super important.
    
    
89. Energy. I seem to have a lot of it these days! Yippee!
    
    
90. Questions. When I question things and when others question me, I learn. Love that!  
    
    
91. Time. I've already spent a pretty good amount of time being me, and I'm thankful for that.
    
    
92. Hugs. Not normally a touchy-feely girl, but a good hug can brighten any day.
    
    
93. Earth. This place is pretty cool, if you ask me. Thanks for letting me live here, Earth!
    
    
94. Safety. More often than not, I feel very safe and I'm so lucky to have that privilege.
    
    
95. Strength. I'm not that physically strong, but I have a lot of internal strength that I need to be thankful for.
    
    
96. Independence. It's great to be free, but it's also important to be independent.
    
    
97. Gifts. I adore buying gifts for others (and don't mind receiving them myself! ha!).
    
    
98. Enthusiasm. Life's too short to sit around being bored so get into it!  
    
    
99. Gratitude. Without it, I don't think I would be nearly as happy as I am right now.
    
    
100. YOU. Thank you, thank you, thank you for reading and support this blog. You. Are. Awesome.

Thank you to all of you who wrote in on Wednesday telling me about the things you're thankful for in your own lives. If you have more to add, or if you didn't get a chance on Wednesday, feel free to share with me in the comments section all of the things that you're grateful for today. I'd love to hear about the things that inspire you to have an attitude of gratitude!

Want a high-tech way to encourage that gratitude within you? Check out Gratitude Stream for your iPhone. You can also check out Gratitude Stream on Facebook!

which comes first: happiness or gratitude?

 

 "All happy people are grateful.
Ungrateful people cannot be happy. 
 We think being unhappy leads people to complain, 
 but complaining leads to people becoming unhappy."  

Dennis Prager

 

The other day I spent a great deal of time writing and thinking about gratitude. While I was looking up some great sites about gratitude (see Monday's post for details), I came across the quote that's written above and I thought to myself, "Wow, that really is true." I'm sure there are plenty of people that are ungrateful that experience happy moments, but I don't think anyone who is truly, deeply happy is ungrateful. I think that happiness is something that can take shape in different forms, and the form Prager is talking about is that deep and lasting happiness. Sure, ungrateful people can have their moments of bliss or joy when something's going particularly well in their lives, but I don't think they can truly experience what it means to be deep-down happy until they become grateful for what they have in their lives.

In my experience (and looking at the experiences of others), when you're happy, you become thankful. When you're thankful, you become happy. As I discussed the other day, gratitude really has many positive benefits and I honestly believe that it's one of those things that brings out happiness within me -- no matter what. Even on the worst day, in the worst mood, if I start thinking about the things I have going for me in my life, all of the things I'm grateful for, I instantly feel uplifted. The trick here is actually getting myself to a place where I'm able to let those grateful thoughts in...Sometimes my mind just isn't in the mood for them! Gratitude always, always, always brings a smile to my face once I can get myself to a place where I've opened my mind to it. I'll admit that sometimes it's not easy. When you're facing a heartbreak or when something terrible happens, gratitude isn't always the first thing to come to mind, but once you can bring yourself back to it, you'll find -- as I always do -- that you are inspired and much, much happier.

When I came across the quote above, it really got me thinking about which comes first: the happiness or the gratitude? Are happy people grateful or are grateful people happy? It seems to make sense that happy people would be grateful for their happiness (and for all of the things that make them happy), but it also makes sense that people who are very grateful would be very happy. On the flip side, we can think about unhappiness and ungratefulness. Are those who are ungrateful unhappy? Or are those who are unhappy ungrateful because they feel they have nothing to be grateful for? I suppose one could spend some serious time thinking about and researching this (and I'm sure many already have!), but for me it seems to be one of those chicken-or-the-egg situations. I don't know which one came first, but I do know that both elements are pretty necessary.

Happiness and gratitude are two things that, like the chicken and her egg, go hand in hand with one another. Whichever came first isn't necessarily important; what matters is that they build on one another and they enhance one another. Prager was really onto something in this quote. He really got the idea that gratitude is something that is deeply connected with happiness. Likewise, being ungrateful (or complaining, as he says), is something that relates directly to unhappiness.

I can speak to Prager's point about complaining from first hand experience. I used to be a notorious complainer. Everything was wrong in some way and, even if no one else could see it, I could. I was rarely content because I was always looking for something to moan and groan about. Even if things were going well in my life, I could find a reason to complain. Many times I wouldn't even say it out loud, but it was always there, under the surface, those little thoughts telling me what could be better about every situation. Clearly, all of this complaining and negative analysis didn't make me very happy (nor did it make those spending time with me very happy either!). In fact, it made me downright miserable. I was always looking for the bad. And guess what? I always found it. When you look for something, you find it. When you look for things to complain about, you find them. All of that complaining made me pretty darn unhappy.

These days, I choose to look for the good (which, believe me, isn't always easy!) and I find that I'm a lot happier just because I am grateful for the things around me. Sure, I don't think every situation is perfect, but when I look for the good things in a situation, I find them and I focus on them. I become grateful for them. Most situations/people/things have both good and bad, but I can say with 100% certainty that if you look for the good in them, you will be happier. It takes a lot more effort to be grateful than it does to complain (especially for someone like me, to whom complaining comes naturally!) so I get why a lot of people don't spend more time being grateful. Sometimes it's nearly impossible to snap yourself out of whatever negative mindset you're in and focus on the good, but it's always possible. It's always possible to be grateful for the good things.

Just as I believe happiness is a choice, I believe gratitude is also a choice. It really is quite simply about choosing to focus on the good things instead of the bad. And, if you want to take it one step further, you can focus on the bad things too and realize the reasons you have to be grateful for them. I can say with all certainty that I've had some pretty shitty things happen to me in my life. I can say with even more certainty that I brought many of these things upon myself. I could sit here and whine about them and think about the negative way these things have impacted my life, OR I could be grateful for them. I could look at them and realize that without those things I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't be as strong or as smart. I wouldn't be as interesting or brave. I wouldn't be anything like the girl I am right now. So today I am grateful for those things -- for all of the things, good and bad, that have made me the person I am today.

Honestly, I don't know whether happiness or gratitude comes first, but what I do know is that, in my life, they work together to make everything better. I am grateful for my happiness. I am happy to have so many things to be grateful for. For those of you living in places that celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you have a wonderful holiday tomorrow. Take some time to be grateful at this time of year (and always!) and you'll find that happiness lies in everything you are thankful for. To read more about what I'm thankful for this year, stop your big turkey-filled belly by Positively Present on Friday and check out the post "100 Things I Am Thankful For." And, of course, I want to know...

What are YOU thankful for this year?
How do happiness and gratitude play a roll in your life?

Photo Credit: (♥)

the benefits of having a grateful day

 (♥)
 

The other day I was at the grocery store and, as I was checking out and leaving, the woman behind the counter handed me my change and said, "Have a grateful day!" My mind did a double take after hearing this. I'm so used to hearing "Have a great day" that I was surprised by her words. I turned to her and smiled and said, "Thank you! You too!" Of course she had no idea that at that very moment she was inspiring me to write a post about gratitude. Because I think about living in the moment so frequently, I also spend a lot of time thinking about gratitude. Why? Because being grateful helps me stay in the moment. Sometimes I really struggle with being present, even though it's such an important part of my life these days, so when I'm feeling like I just can't handle whatever moment I'm in, I start thinking about all of the things I'm grateful for.

For example, let's say I'm standing in line somewhere and I'm in a hurry and I don't feel well and I have a million things piling up on my desk. Let's say I haven't slept well so I'm extra cranky and it's just before lunchtime so I'm super hungry too. This is one of those moments where I'm not at all feeling like living in the moment. In fact, I'm pretty sure I want to be anywhere other than that moment. So what do I do? I take a deep breath, look around me, and start to focus my mind on gratitude. I ask myself, "What is good about this situation? What is good about my life right now?" When I do this, I instantly find myself centered, in the moment, and actually happy for the moment. I begin to realize that, even though I'm tired and hungry and don't feel so good, all of those things will pass and later that day I'll be in bed, with a full belly, resting and recovering. I realize that even though I'm waiting in a god-awful line in a crowded store that I'm lucky to be standing there, to be alive, and to have a capable mind and body. Believe me, I know how cliche and cheesy and sugary-sweet that sounds (I think the old me would have literally thrown up reading that paragraph), but it really does work. It really does!

When I first began thinking about gratitude, I thought it was all a little ridiculous the way some people went around being grateful for everything. Back when I was much more naive, it seemed to me that so many things were a given and that we didn't really have to think too much about being thankful. In the past, I was happy to write a thank you note or to offer words of gratitude to someone who had helped me out, but the most I ever really thought about being thankful was when the Thanksgiving holiday was approaching and the whole concept of being grateful was forced upon you. I used to not really get the point of being thankful. Always looking for the purpose behind something, I never could quite figure out what I could get out of feeling grateful. I understood what I got out of telling others I was thankful, but I didn't really see the point of spending a lot of time being thankful internally. Until now. Now I realize just how important gratitude is. It actually serves a real, true purpose in my life. I use it to do so many things and you can too! Check out the many uses of gratitude...

The Uses of Gratitude

• Use gratitude to center yourself. This is probably the greatest use I've found for gratitude. Whenever I'm feeling upset or angry or frustrated or down, I think about the things I am grateful for and I feel much, much better. It really is a great tool to use to tackle some of the hardest emotions and I find that it almost always snaps me out of whatever funk I've found myself in.
  
  
• Use gratitude to live in the moment. When I'm struggling to live in the moment (as I often am!), I find that being grateful really helps to bring me into the present. It's easy to get caught up thinking about the past or worrying about the future, but when I look around and start thinking of all the things I have to be grateful for, I find that I'm really, truly living in the moment.
  
  
• Use gratitude to enhance relationships. Nothing makes a relationship better than when you are truly grateful for the other person. Sure, all relationships have ups and downs, but if you keep gratitude in mind no matter what you're going through, you're more likely to have a much better relationship. Be grateful for the people in your life and you'll find that your appreciate comes through in your words and actions.
  
  
• Use gratitude to motivate yourself. Sometimes I find that it's hard to get motivated and I wonder what I can really contribute to the world. That's when I start using gratitude again. Once I start thinking about all of the things I'm thankful for -- including my own abilities -- I feel a lot more inspired. Being grateful can motivate you to believe in yourself and it can also inspire you to look around you and see all that you have to offer the world.
  
  
• Use gratitude to overcome hurdles. Life is pretty hard sometimes, but when you find yourself focusing on what you're grateful for, all of the trials you have to face become more manageable. I can't say that gratitude is a cure all for every problem, but it really does help to put things in perspective when you're going through a tough time. Next time you're feeling down, think of all the things you're grateful for. I guarantee you'll feel inspired!
  
  
• Use gratitude to improve your health. I'm not a doctor or a scientist, but I've read on more than one occasion that being grateful can actually improve your physical health. I don't have any statistics to back up this claim, but I can say that gratitude greatly reduces my stress level, which ultimately makes me a much healthier person. One thing I know for sure: gratitude certainly can't hurt your health, so it's worth a try to start thinking grateful thoughts.
  

Clearly, being grateful has some pretty sweet benefits. I used to think all of this was a bit of nonsense and that people used gratitude as a distraction so they didn't think about all of the miserable parts of their lives, but now I know that I really does have amazing benefits. There are so many things we should all be grateful for and even though it can be really, really hard at times to think about being thankful, it really does make even the worst situations more bearable. I really believe that having a grateful attitude gives us the power to turn any day -- even a really bad one! -- into a day worth celebrating.

When the woman at the grocery store told me to have a grateful day, I was certainly surprised, but then it all began to make sense. Of course I should have a grateful day because if I have a grateful day I'm going to have a day that's pretty close to awesome. Perhaps I am just extremely lucky, but I have so, so many things to be grateful for and once I start thinking about them all I find that I am happier, uplifted, and recognizing just how great my life is. An attitude of gratitude might not be able to transform a terrible day into a perfect one, but it can come pretty darn close.

We might not have the power to control everything in our lives, but we do have the power to take our thoughts and focus them on the positive things. Thinking about all of the things you are grateful for is one of the best ways to do this and I've found that the right attitude can absolutely transform my day. When I am grateful, I am living in the moment, I am happy for the moment. I can honestly say that when I start thinking about all of the things I'm grateful for, even a bad day can start to seem pretty good...

Because of the upcoming holiday -- Thanksgiving! Yay! -- I'll be focusing a lot on gratitude this week on Positively Present. While you're waiting for the next post about gratitude, check out these awesome gratitude resources:

I Am Thankful
5 Benefits of Gratitude
Cultivating Gratitude
Giving Thanks for 21 Blessings in Disguise
The Benefits of Gratitude
Gratefulness.org
Gratitude: A Positive Psychology Perspective

words to live by: let the sun shine

 

 (♥)

Wake up one morning you realize
Your life is one big compromise
Stuck in the job you swore was only temporary
Feel like the world is passing you by
Never done all the things you would need to try
Stuck in one place, got a pain in your face
from all your stressin’ out
You ask yourself there’s got to be
more than what I’m living for
You ask yourself there’s got to be something else,
something more, more, more

Well let the sun shine on your face
And don’t let your life go to waste
Now is the time, got to make up your mind
Let it shine on you, let it shine on you

Feel like there’s nothing, nowhere to go
You try and fight but you can’t let go
Roll the pain, got so much to gain
Now is the time

You ask yourself there’s got to be something else,
something more, more, more
Well let the sun shine on your face
And don’t let your life go to waste
Now is the time, got to make up your mind
Let it shine on you, let it shine on you

You ask yourself there’s got to be
more than what I’m living for
You ask yourself there’s got to be something else,
something more, more, more

Well let the sun shine on your face
And don’t let your life go to waste
Now is the time, got to make up your mind
Let it shine on you, let it shine on you

Well let the sun shine on your face
And don’t let your life go to waste
Now is the time, got to make up your mind
Let it shine on you, let it shine on you

Well let the sun shine on your face
And don’t let your life go to waste
Now is the time, got to make up your mind
Let it shine on you, let it shine on you

"Shine"
Laura Izibor

"Words To Live By" is a segment on Positively Present that features my favorite quote or lyrics from the week. Every Sunday I post a quote or lyrics that have inspired me with the hope that they'll inspire you too. Comments will be closed on these posts, but feel free to tweet the post if you enjoy it or contact me via Twitter.

happiness is an open road

  
“One’s destination is never a place,
but a new way of seeing things.”

Henry Miller

Today I'm heading out on a road trip. Though it's not a particularly long one like some of the drives I've been on (driving from DC to LA!), it's still pretty exciting. I do a fair amount of traveling, but I don't do all that much of it in a car. There's something about traveling in the car that's immensely freeing. You can, at any point, stop. You can, at any point, turn down a different road. While I have no problem traveling by plane or train (boats are a different story!), there is something truly unique about being in a car and being able to have some control over where you're going and when you will stop driving. Maybe for me it comes down to a control thing, but I also think it's really fun to just be driving along, traveling through towns and seeing the world from a new, through-the-window perspective.

That's what a road trip does for me -- it offers me a fresh perspective on the world. When I received that Henry Miller quote in my in-box today (after I'd already planned to write about this exciting upcoming adventure!), I thought, "How perfect! And how true!" Going to new places is great -- I really do enjoy to travel -- but the true excitement is not so much the destination as it is the way you have an opportunity to see the world differently. Even if you're going to a place you're familiar with, if it's somewhere you don't go very often, it's likely to allow you a chance to think about things (and to see the world) differently. As Miller said, it's the new way of seeing things that's really our destination. The place is just the means to get to that new perspective that so many of us crave.

Some people have little interest in seeing new places or doing new things. While I definitely find it difficult to break out of my routines sometimes (a whole weekend away from my beloved dog and Mac computer! Ahh!), I always find myself feeling refreshed and excited when I return from a trip. In fact, some of my greatest ideas have come to me while sitting on a plane, train, or in the car. Something about the movement -- the going from here to there and back again -- really inspires me. There is something about going away and coming back again that makes me feel alive.

Not only am I inspired by the actual travel, but I also find it so exhilarating to see and do new things, something I'm more likely to do when I'm in a different place. It takes a lot from me to break away from my routines, but when I do, I find that inspiration is lurking everywhere. In new places I'm always finding new things to ponder and to write about. It's as if, in new places, I find words and sentences and paragraphs lying about and I can just wander around and pick them up, tucking them in my pocket for future use. I often wonder if these people and things and places have any idea how I am absorbing them, turning them into words, and saving them up for later. I often wonder if all of the new experiences realize just how valuable they are to me.

After I decided to write this post, I obviously went scouring the web for a perfect picture. When I first saw the image above, I thought to myself, "Yikes! That looks dangerous!" but then I realized how happy those people looked (and I told myself that the car must be stopped) and I realized just how free the picture made me feel. Something about the hands over the eyes made me think about how much I want to not just see things but feel them as well. I love looking around and finding tangible things that I can read and touch and see, but I don't really spend as much time as I should just feeling -- especially when it comes to awesome experiences like road trips. Often I'm so concerned with what's passing by the window that I don't really stop to ask myself, "What am I feeling right now?"

On this trip, I plan to do that, to ask myself and pay attention to how I'm feeling. I'm going to pay attention not only with my eyes (inspiration is everywhere!) but with my heart and mind as well. I'm going to use this weekend away as a chance to really experience living in the moment, to really feel the moment. I believe that happiness is just like an open road -- it's freeing and exciting, part directed and part unknown. Today I'm looking forward to driving down that open road and really letting the happiness sink into me. I'm sure I'll come across all kinds of new and interesting things that I will take with me in my mind, but my focus will be on feeling the moments as they're happening and realizing that there really is nothing better than having a positive mindset and setting out on an open road. 

Comments on this post are closed because I'm on the road! :)

Photo Credit: (♥)

living life with purpose

 

 

"I think the purpose of life is to be useful,
to be responsible, to be honorable, to be compassionate. 
It is, after all, to matter: to count, to stand for something,
to have made some difference that you lived at all."

Leo Rosten

For most people interested in personal development, the question of life's purpose is often on their minds. There are so many answers, but that one question always remains. When I opened my email this morning and read this quote, I found that I could really relate to Rosten's words. He's really on to something with this statement. Though I think we all have different purposes for our lives, I do think that Rosten addresses some of the basic elements of life's purpose that connect us all. While I cannot speak for everyone, I do know that many people would agree with Rosten's statement and believe that they are living for all of these reasons (and more!). After reading Rosten's quote for the third or fourth time, I began to break it down in my mind, to see all of the various parts he'd put together to make his statement whole. When I took a step back from the quote and looked at divided, I realized that Rosten really did bring some important things to light in terms of what most of us want from life. Here, let's take a look...

We want to be useful. Maybe not everyone feels this way, but I know a lot of people want to be useful. When thinking about life's purpose, they want their lives to be something that will have a good effect on the rest of the world -- or at least on those living in their little corner of the world. Some people seem more into this idea in relation to life's purpose than others (such as those who dedicate their lives to teaching or caring for others), but I think, deep down, we all want to know that our lives have a practical usefulness to them. It's hard to say what usefulness is because it is such a broad term, but I think that we're all useful. We're useful in our jobs, in our actions, in our relationships. We all serve different purposes, but all of them are of use and that's what makes them so important to consider when thinking about the purpose of life.

We want to be responsible. This is a very interesting one for me because for so long I felt like I didn't want to be responsible for my life. I wanted people to do things for me; I wanted things to happen to me. The older I get and the more I know, the more I want to take control of my life and be responsible for it. Not only do I want to be accountable for my actions, but I also want to be accountable for the repercussions of my actions. I want to know that what I'm doing is the right thing, that I'm not acting out of selfishness or haste. When I think about how much responsibility we all have (whether we want to admit it or not!), I realize that this is really one of the purposes of life. I am -- we all are -- meant to be responsible for our lives and even though it's hard for some to get to a place of responsibility, I do think that autonomy and accountability is something we all inevitably seek.

We want to be honorable. When I read this one, I wasn't sure how I felt. Do people really want to be honorable? Of course, it's clear that some do, but there are so many people that act in dishonorable ways that it was hard for me to believe that a purpose of life was to be honorable. But then I thought about it this way... We all really do want be respected and given credit for the things we do. For everyone, these things may be different. Honor might come in the form of negative things for some people and positive things for others, but I think that desire to be honored (even on a small level) is something most people crave. We want to be thought of as worthy of respect (and, in some cases, this can be a negative kind of respect) and we want to know that what we are doing has worth.

We want to be compassionate. This one also struck me as interesting. Do we want to be compassionate or do we want to have compassion in our lives? I, for one, know that I definitely want compassion in my life. I want people to care about me and to feel things for me when I am feeling, but to say that my own purpose in life is to be compassionate seemed off at first. And then I realized that, in fact, I really do want to live a life of compassion because it is one of the best ways to connect with others. At a very basic level, humans want to connect with each other (even when we don't think we do!), and being compassionate is one of the best ways to do this. I don't know about you, but when I am able to connect with someone else in a compassionate way, it feels great. It makes sense, since the need to understand one another is so basic, that it would be part of the purpose of life.

We want to matter. To me, this is one of the most important of all the things Rosten brought up. While I can't speak for everyone, I'm pretty sure most people want to matter. Some people want to matter in a big, grand way. Some people want to matter only in the lives of those who are closest to them. But either way most of us really seem to want that -- to know that our lives count, that we're here for a reason, that we have purpose. And we don't want to matter just to ourselves. We want to matter to others (again, back to the theme of connecting with other people) and some of us want to matter to the world. No matter what (or who) we want to matter to, most of us really do want that recognition, or at least the knowledge, that our lives count in a way that is meaningful.

We want to stand for something. When I was in college, some of the guys I used to hang out with would call me "Beliefs" because I was always going off about some topic I felt passionate about (feminism, animal rights, etc...). They would get a kick out of me sharing my beliefs all the time, and I got a kick out of them calling me "Beliefs." Why? Because this confirmed for me that I stood for something, that I cared about things enough to bring them up and share my thoughts on them. (It also helped to confirm that I had something substantive to offer other than appearance, which I really loved...) I loved (still do!) love believing in things, standing for things, and for that reason I believe that this is something that really does add to my purpose in life.

We want to make a difference. Another tricky one... Does everyone want to make a difference? I know I do. In fact, I probably want that more than anything. When I get emails from people telling me that I've made a difference in their lives, I feel happier than I could even imagine. It's the best feeling. But that's just me. I don't know if everyone wants to make a difference in the world. I know that most of the people I surround myself with make a difference in the world without even knowing it because they make my world a better place. Even people I hardly know make a difference when they leave a comment on my blog or send me an email. Whether or not we want to make a difference, I think our mere presences here impact the world and, like it or not, create the foundation for life's purpose.

I must admit that sometimes I don't like to think about the purpose of life. Sometimes that phrase is just too overwhelming. It puts the pressure on, making me wonder, "What am I doing? Am I really living the life I'm supposed to be living??" Reading Rosten's quote sort of forced me to think about it and I'm glad it did. The purpose of life is a very unique thing. I believe everyone has a different purpose, some of which overlap and some of which don't. Sometimes it's hard to understand the purpose of others, but there is a purpose for everyone and everything. Writing this post has really made me think about what I consider my personal purpose to be. The purpose of one's life is likely to change. If someone had asked me what the purpose of my life was ten years ago, my answer would be quite different I'm sure. Today I'm going to write down the things I want to be, the things that add up to my life's purpose. Someday I will come back to this post and look at these things and I will see how well I've done with them or maybe realize how much they have changed. Here are some of the things I think I'm here for...

To write words that make others think and feel.

To create things that challenge me and/or make me smile.

To accept people and situations for what they are.

To experience life and share my thoughts with others.

To love people and animals with my whole heart.

To be at peace with myself and those around me.

To make others happy through my own quest for joy.

To smile and laugh as often as I possibly can.

To work hard at what I love to do to reach my goals.

To cultivate and sustain meaningful relationships.

To push myself out of my (many!) comfort zones.

To challenge myself and others to embrace positivity.

To live in the moment (even when it's a tough one).

To look for and celebrate the good things in life.

I'm sure if I sat here all day, I could have a list a mile long. Now that I've started thinking about what my purpose is in life, it's actually quite fascinating to me (and a lot less overwhelming!). Putting it in writing makes me realize that life's purpose can be a tangible thing. It doesn't have to be some abstract concept that you can't quite put your finger on it. It can be a list. It can be a whole long string of words with all of the things you want in your life filling in the blanks. It can be anything you want it to be. I know it seems like a  grand task -- writing down the purpose of your life -- but as someone who was overwhelmed to even think about it and who went on to create this extended (albeit not comprehensive) list, I'd strongly recommend you give it a go. And, if you're feeling extra brave, feel free to post your list in the comments section! I know, I know -- it seems daunting to think about your life's purpose on a random Tuesday, but when I started writing this post I had no idea it was going to lead to me thinking about my own purpose and I'm so glad it did. Give it some thought... You might be surprised by what you'll find...

What did you think of Rosten's ideas of what life's purpose is?
Have you given some thought now to your own purpose? What IS your purpose?

 

are the people in your life positive?

The other day I came across the image above and that quote really struck me. Of course I don't want to be sad. I'd rather be happy with everyone, but, as we all know, that's not always the way the world works. When I read this quote, I really got it. I really felt it -- that realization that it's so important to surround ourselves with the right people. Sometimes the wrong people make us happy -- or, at least, we think they do -- but that doesn't mean they are right for us. It's probably pretty likely that if we're going to have someone in our lives in a significant way, we're going to experience happy times and sad times with that person so wouldn't we rather experience those things with the right people? 

The people we surround ourselves with are so very important. Sometimes we become so used to and comfortable with the people in our lives that we don't stop to think about whether or not they are really positive influences. Over the past year or so, I've really been looking around me and trying to understand why some people are in my life and others are not. I've given a lot of thought to who I surround myself with because I really do believe that others affect us in ways we cannot necessarily recognize. Sometimes we are so close to others that we don't necessarily see them for what they are. Like being up close to a painting -- you might be able to see all of the colors, but you're not necessarily getting the big picture. 

And the big picture is pretty important when it comes to those who are close to you. You need to be able to see them for what they are because, whether you want to admit it or not, they're influencing you. For that reason, you have to pay attention. You have to really take a conscious step back and assess them. This can be a lot harder than it sounds sometimes, especially when it comes to people that you feel very certain about. However, just because you are examining your relationships with others doesn't mean that those people are going to prove themselves to be bad for you. There's nothing wrong with taking a look around and assessing what type of impact others are having on you. In fact, it's pretty imperative if you're striving to have a positive life. 

If you want to have a positive life, you have to have positive people in your life. So ask yourself this right now: Do I have positive or negative people in my life? Most of us, if we're being completely honest with ourselves, will find that we have a mix of both. It's pretty hard to have every single person in your life be a positive influence on you, especially when, in many cases (like work and family) we don't always get to choose every person we interact with. Yes, there are some situations where you will be required to spend time with someone who is more negative than positive, but, for the most part, we have a choice. Just as we can choose happiness, we can also choose to surround ourselves with those that make us happy. 

I bet you're wondering how you know if you're surrounding yourself with positive people. Trust me, I know this this hard to figure out sometimes. It's so easy to just assume people are positive influences because, after all, you're spending them with them so you figure that you've made that decision for a good reason. Of course, we're not always as logical as we'd like to be. Sometimes our emotions (and imaginations!) get carried away and we are certain that people are good for us when they are not. Here are some steps you can take to evaluate the people in your life. (Yes, this might feel like you're judging, but don't you have a right to judge those you keep closest to you?)

Is That Person Good for You? 


Step 1: Take a good look around you. So often we get caught up in life in a way that makes it difficult to really see what's going on around us. We begin to take the people in our lives for granted (in both good and bad ways) and we stop really seeing what's happening. Just think about how, if you drive to work every day, you take for granted the route you're on. If you do it every single day, you could probably do it without even looking. People are like this too. If you don't look around and really pay attention, you might miss what's really going on. So open your eyes and look at what's going on around you. And I mean really look at it. Don't just look at what you think is happening. Look at what is happening.


Step 2: Ask yourself (and others) questions. Having done a lot of work trying to change my life over the past year or so, I've come to realize that I really need to pay attention to who I surround myself with. For this reason, I've spent a lot of time asking myself questions about the people in my life. I want to know that they are positive influences on me. Now, I know there is both good and bad in every person so it's not always so easy to say, "Oh, this person is perfectly positive for me!" but there are certain questions I like to ask myself that really help me to get to the heart of whether or not a person is good or bad for me. I like to look at the people in my life and ask myself the following questions:

• Do I like who I am when I am around this person?
• Does this person make me happier or unhappier?
• What kinds of feelings does this person evoke?
• How would I describe this person in 5 words?
• How do your friends/family describe this person?

Step 3: Take a good look at yourself. While it might not seem like the most obvious thing to do, when you’re trying to uncover who is good for you and who is not, it’s important to look at yourself. Look at the person you are when you’re with that other person. Pay special attention to your mind and how you think and feel when that other person is around –- or even when you think about that other person. You can start right now! Think about someone very important to you and listen to how your mind reacts. Are you thinking positive thoughts? Are you angry or sad when you think of this person? Paying attention to how you feel and taking a look at the person you are when you are around or thinking about someone else is critical. You cannot truly understand another’s impact on you if you aren’t paying attention to the way that person makes you feel. Once you start looking at yourself and listening to your thoughts when this person is around you, you will most likely be able to tell whether or not this person brings out the best in you. If you still can’t tell… move on to Step 4!


Step 4: Keep paying attention. One of the most important things you can do when attempting to make sure that the people you have in your life are good for you is to keep paying attention. Sure, you might have done Steps 1-3 and feel pretty good about the person now, but people change and you change so it’s important to keep paying attention. Of course this doesn’t mean you need to be monitoring the person 24/7 or taking notes every time you are around him or her. This means that you need to pay attention to how you feel and have a general sense of whether the person makes you feel better about yourself. Positive people in your life should bring you up and make you feel happy. This doesn’t mean you won’t have conflicts with these people, but you should generally feel as if the people you surround yourself with are looking out for your best interest. Still not sure if you’re dealing with someone who is good for you? Check out Step 5…


Step 5: Get a second (and third!) opinion. While your opinion of the people in your life is very valuable, it’s important to ask around to see what others think. Sometimes we become blinded by various things (comfort, love, etc.) and cannot see people or situations for what they really are. For this reason, it’s important to get an outsider’s opinion (preferably someone who you’ve confirmed is looking out for your best interests). For example, if you find that all of your friends think your boy/girlfriend is bad for you, you’re probably not seeing the situation for what it is and you need to be aware of this. Getting input from someone who is removed from the situation will provide you will a fresh perspective and will allow you to figure out if you’re assessing the person (and the relationship with that person) properly. 
 


After you've gone through these five steps, it should be pretty obvious whether or not a person is a positive influence in your life. If you have any doubts, I'm going to be bold and say that the person probably isn't good for you. As I’ve been looking around my own life recently, really try to find (and keep!) the positive people in my life, I’ve found that it’s really important to pay attention to who you surround yourself with because it can make a HUGE difference on how you live your life and how you feel about the life you’re living. Remember, no matter what, you have the power to keep or remove people from your life and you can really change your world if you rid your life of all of the negative people in it. 

How do you determine if someone is a positive force in your life?
How do you handle a situation when you know someone is more negative than positive?

Looking for more to read? Check out my guest post on The Journal of Cultural Conversation called "A Book of Possibilities" and learn how you can make the most of your possibilities... 

words to live by: this is gonna be a good life

 (♥)
 

oh, this is gonna be a good life,
this has gotta be a good life,
this could really be a good life, a good life
oh, this feeling that you can't fight
this city is on fire tonight
this could really be a good life
a good, good life

sometimes there's airplanes 
i can't jump out
sometimes there's bullshit
that don't work now
we've all got our stories
but please tell me
what there's to complain about?
when you're happy like a fool
let it take you over
when everything is out
you gotta take it in

oh, this is gonna be a good life,
this has gotta be a good life,
this could really be a good life, a good life
oh, this feeling that you can't fight
this city is on fire tonight
this could really be a good life
a good, good life

hopelessly
i feel like there might be
something that i miss
hopelessly
i feel like the window
closes so, so quick
hopelessly
i'm taking a mental
picture of you now
'cause hopelessly
the hope that we have
so much to feel good about

oh, this is gonna be a good life,
this has gotta be a good life,
this could really be a good life, a good life
oh, this feeling that you can't fight
this city is on fire tonight
this could really be a good life
a good, good life

sometimes there's airplanes 
i can't jump out
sometimes there's bullshit
that don't work now
we've all got our stories
but please tell me
what there's to complain about?

OneRepublic
"Good Life"

If you like the lyrics, listen to "Good Life" on YouTube. It's not a great version since the song's so new, but, trust me, you will feel inspired. "Words To Live By" is a segment on Positively Present that features my favorite quote or lyrics from the week. Every Sunday I post a quote or lyrics that have inspired me with the hope that they'll inspire you too. Comments will be closed on these posts, but feel free to tweet the post if you enjoy it or contact me via Twitter.

from fearful to fortunate: do what you don't want to

 

 (♥)

Last night I learned a very important lesson: sometimes good things happen when we do the things we don't want to do. I myself waiting around most of the day, thinking negative thoughts about how I didn't want to do something, only to find out that it was actually the best thing for me to be doing. Take a look at what I wrote before I left and what my thoughts were after to see just how what was seen as a negative experience actually turned out to be a positive one. 

The Before

Right now I am sitting here, dreading something I have to do, something I don't want to do. Has that ever happened to you? I bet it has. I bet you've been sitting there, just like I am here, thinking of how you could get out of it, knowing that you couldn't. Being me, of course I'm sitting here analyzing exactly why it is that I don't want to go and I realize the truth almost instantly: I'm scared. I don't want to break out of my little comfort zone. I don't want to do something that I don't normally do with people I don't normally spend time with. 

What is it with that fear of new things? Some people see a new experience and can't wait to dive into it. More often than not, I hold back, analyzing it until I'm sure it's what I want to do. And even then I'm not always so into it. Sometimes I'm the type of person who makes plans and then cancels because she'd rather sit in her apartment than travel to a new part of the city. Sometimes I'd rather do nothing at all than do something that sparks a fear in me. 

And that's exactly how I'm feeling right now. The negative thoughts are creeping in and I suddenly think of all of the reasons why I shouldn't go tonight. I think of the the rain, the possibility of it being a waste of time, the fact that I'm not feeling so well. I think of the traffic and the TV shows I'll be missing. I think of my preferred bedtime and the tasks I could (but wouldn't...) be crossing off my To Do list. Excuses flood my mind and my brain rationalizes them all. 

I want to escape the fear, but I cannot. I am sitting with it and I have to deal with it. I cannot back out. I cannot say I'm no longer going to go. At this point -- so late in the day -- it is no longer an option to cancel. As much as I try to push the positivity -- "This could be fun!" "This might be really good for you!" "It's something new and different!" -- my negativity continues to push back. I just keep thinking, "I don't want to go. I don't want to go. I don't want to go." 

But I went. 

The After

I just walked in the door from the event I'd been dreading and I'm happy to report that all of the dread and fear were worth it. It was one of the most productive and eye-opening evenings I've had in a long time. I got to sit there and listen to others speak. I got to sit there in silence and just listen. Listening, for me, doesn't come easily. If you couldn't gather from my long-winded posts, I'm a talker. I'm a decent listener, but I'd much rather tell you what I think (sometimes in the middle of what you're trying to say!). 

According to my parents, I started talking at a very early age and people would always think it was odd that I was so small and able to say so much (come to think of it, people still might think this...). Ever since I learned to master language on my own, I've had a hard time just sitting still without adding my thoughts. One of the reasons last night was a great experience because, unlike most conversations I have when I can jump in whenever I want, I had to sit and wait my turn to speak. This gave me an opportunity to be present, to really take in the words of others without rushing to add my own comments. 

Another reason last night turned out to be a positive experience for me was because I had the opportunity to sit down in a room full of people who were dealing with some of the very same things as I am. It was nice to sit and just listen to the stories and the wisdom (which, ironically, was the topic of the evening) of other people who are in similar situations. It was refreshing to finally not feel so alone. It was eye-opening to hear the insights of others, shared so candidly with everyone in the room. 

Though it was past my crawl-into-bed time when I returned, I couldn't sleep because I was pumped up by the words I'd heard spoken all night. I felt revived and excited... and so, so thankful that I'd forced myself to do something out of my comfort zone. I was even more grateful to the wonderful person who went with me because, without her, I don't know if I ever would have made it into that room where, in only an hour, I learned so much. 

The Lesson

Last night I learned a great lesson (one that I should know by now) -- sometimes positive things happen even when we don't expect them to, which just goes to show that thinking negatively doesn't do anything at all. If I had been thinking positively all day, getting myself excited for my evening activity, I would have been a lot happier. I wouldn't have been stressed or wasting time coming up with excuses in my mind. I wouldn't have been feeling the fear of doing something I didn't know if I wanted to do. Instead of stressing, I should have been reading Gilbert's post from Wednesday, The Power of Acceptance: A Path To An Open Heart, and realizing that acceptance was really the way to go. 

Had I accepted the situation for what it was -- just a new experience -- instead of for what I thought it was going to be -- some terrible waste of time that would bore and/or irritate me -- I would have been a lot better off. Now, I don't want to be too hard on myself. It was something that was slightly scary and definitely new. We all have a right to be nervous or scared or uncertain. However, in this situation, I let my negative thoughts take over to the point that I almost missed out on the experience all together. 

On more than one occasion yesterday, I thought about picking up my phone and canceling. Had I let that negativity take over, I may never have been able to experience the feelings I did last night -- feelings I am very grateful to have sitting with me now. I'm happier because I went. I'm more positive because I went. I'm not going to sit here and claim that a single evening changed my life (though, I suppose, it's been known to happen!), but I will say that I am very glad I forced myself to do something I really didn't want to do. 

So, you may be wondering why I'm telling you all about my one-night revelation. I'm sharing this experience with you so that the next time you think you really don't want to go to an event -- either because you're scared or disinterested or uncertain -- remember this post and recognize that, even though it doesn't necessarily seem like the best thing in the world, it could turn out to be a pretty great experience. Try to keep an open mind when you're diving into something new and you might be surprised at what you'll encounter. 

A friend of mine informed me that today is To Write Love on Her Arms Day. What is To Write Love on Her Arms? That's exactly what I asked when I opened the email! To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA) is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury, and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery. In an effort to get the word out about this organization, the founders are asking people to literally write "love" on their arms. So, if you can, take a minute today to write "love" on your arm and support the cause. I have it written on my arm right now! If you want to know more about TWLOHA, go to www.twloha.com.

the power of acceptance: a path to an open heart

This is a guest post by Gilbert Ross, author of the blog Soul Hiker. On his site, Gilbert writes about personal development, the path to inner change, mindfulness, and consciousness. Whenever I visit his site and read his post, I leave feeling inspired. If you haven't had a chance to visit Soul Hiker yet, I'd suggest you check it out right after reading this post! You can also follow Gilbert on Twitter @soulhiker.

You have the freedom to make so many choices in your life – good or bad, wise or foolish. You can choose between alternative paths that affect your whole life and those of others. Hence with freedom comes big responsibility. Free will means having the power to make conscious choices. It means being awake at the wheel while you drive through your life. How much of your choices do you think are a product of free will? What percentage of your actions is born out of self-determined resolutions? Are you free to do what your heart tells you? Are you living your true purpose in life with joy and enthusiasm? 

More often than not, people are not free or at least not completely so. Some are locked up in their past while some others are tied to an emotional baggage that weighs them down. Others are imprisoned in repetitive cycles of behavior where the same old events in life habitually give rise to the same old reactions. 

One big barrier to personal and emotional freedom is the lack of accepting situations we come across in life. By not accepting things we become immobilized – we are unable to get past our negative emotions and move forward in life. We become incapable of facing reality without the veils and illusions of the self-centered ego and this causes so much suffering and stress. The first step is to learn to accept things with an open heart. Acceptance does not mean giving up or surrendering to life so as to be dragged around or trampled over. 

What Acceptance Means

• Regaining focus and perspective of your true purpose in life. We often don’t accept things because our mission in life is not clear and so we mistake simple shortcomings for true loss. We confuse the authentic value of things for inauthentic ones. 
  
  
• Synchronizing your heart and mind. Emotional turbulence arises when your beliefs and thoughts are not aligned to your heart’s desires. Little mishaps upsets you more than they should. 
  
  
• Trusting yourself and your relation with the divine. To accept things means that you openly trust the divinity that works through you to bring forth more life. 
  
  
• Experiencing life without unnecessary criticism and judgment. With accepting comes the joy to embrace life without trying to classify the event or criticize it. Just let it be. 
  
  
• Realizing that you can’t control everything in your life. Control brings pressure and stress. You have to understand that in as much as there are things you can consciously change, there are other which you cannot but can respond to in a balanced and healthy way. 
  
  
• Learning to fail. Getting in terms with the fact that people very often fail and this is only a natural cycle of life. Failure is good if you respond to it wisely. 
  
  
• Realizing that the world or the universe is not conspiring against you. This can make some people not accept a given situation. We sometimes say “why is this happening to me?”, “What did I do to deserve it?”, “Why am I stuck here?”
  
  
• Putting an end to victimization. In relation to the above, understanding that you are not a victim of your fate. You are still responsible for whatever happens to you by responding to it in the right way. 
  
  
• Learning that you are part of the bigger picture. We tend to see things from a self-centered point of view. We think that our problems are bigger, different and special than those of others. By accepting we see that we are in no privileged position and others have problems too which can be much bigger than ours. 
  
  
• Gaining emotional freedom that no other thing can match. Accepting means letting go of the emotional baggage and opening your heart to a richer and broader experience of life. An open heart can give you a full life that an open mind alone cannot. 
  
  
• Knowing yourself better. Accepting implies getting one step closer to your true self because acceptance makes you see the true nature of things including yourself. 
  
  
• Feeling a lightness of being that brings relieve, joy and happiness. Learning to accept things makes you understand that even though you are responsible for your actions you don’t need to bear the whole weight of consequences on your shoulder. Failure happens and some things are out of our control. 
  
  
• Working with life and not working against it. When we don’t accept things we create currents of negative energy and friction that attracts more negative energy towards us. Accepting makes us at peace with life and with ourselves.  You’ll see how things will work out better. 

I know it’s not always easy to accept whatever dire circumstances come your way. I also know that some things are harder to accept than others. I’ve been there many times. But once you let the power of acceptance to work in your life, you will unleash so many positive effects that it’s hard to let it go once it touches your heart.  

 

Gilbert Ross is the main author of the blog Soul Hiker. He writes about personal development, the path to inner change, mindfulness, and consciousness. His objectives are connecting with others to share insights and knowledge while promoting life changing skills such as meditation. Gilbert holds the view that we are at the brink of an unprecedented global shift in technology, culture, and spirituality. He strongly believes that our present time is an opportunity for big positive leaps both personally and collectively. Gilbert holds a Masters in Philosophy of Science, another subject he is passionate about. One of his main interests is studying the structure and evolution of knowledge at the individual, social, and cyber levels.